yo, that was my mate Barry 'bent-eyes' Murkins at teh door. Top bloke, wanted to borrow my hammer. no questions.

anyway, so as I sed I'm a comedy writr so its only a matter of time befor the BBC and whatnot get on the blower and I'm quids in. In the menatime, I#ll be using this blog to 'display my whares' as it were and show you lucky punters the quality of my material. First taste of the blazin' biro...a sketch I sent to the BBC show scallywagga. have you seen it? top notch so I knew I'd need to bring my A-game to the sketch, all biro's blazin' innit! here it is...

INT. DAY. ABOUT 2 oclock-ish. LOUNGE OF A BLOKE'S HOUSE.

there is a sofa and a chair and a little table and some books and a cat and a carpet and curtains and a stain on the wall that is probably curry or effluent. LEN sits on CHAIR. ENTER MICK.

LEN: Hello Mick

MICK: hello len, how's the leg?

LEN: still hurts a bit.

MICK: Oh. right. Anyway, would you like to buy a hat?

LEN: what sort of hat?

MICK: one of the ones that goes on your head.


(NOTE: that is a brilliantt hat gag, i should probably have stopped there but I had a feeling there was even funnier stuff to come out of me brain! LOL!)

LEN: What colour is it?

MICK: Black.

LEN: I don't like black hats.

MICK: what, are you a hat racist or somink?

(NOTE: check that out, that's me playing with the taboo of racism. brilliant, only the best can get away with that)

LEN: No, I just don't like black hats, I like brighter colors like red. Or yellow.

MICK: I could get you some red gloves.

LEN: Go on then.

MICK: alright, see you later.


LEN: yeah, bye.

EXIT MICK. FADE OUT. THE END.


fantastic, see how I flout the convenshions of sketches by not finishing on a punchline. that takes courage and brains, both of witch I have in abundence so no problemo there.

remember i already sent this to bbc and i got copyright so if I see this sketch turning up anywhre else, with your name on it, there'll be trouble.

see you later, I'm going for a tommy.